Whether it is one of the first signs of early onset dementia, or specific lethologica to which I am forever stricken, I am indifferent, but, the word euphemism, causes me all sorts of problems. I start a sentence knowing that I am going to say it at some point, then as I get close to the word, it disappears. For a while, I tried using a memory trick to help me remember it – by relating it to the musical instrument, the euphonium. But it wasn’t long before that word too became as elusive to me. Perhaps it’s the combination of e-u-p-h at the start of the words that my brain somehow finds alien? The irony is, that that Greek prefix means harmonious, or a pleasing sound. I tried adopting that as part of a mnemonic for a little while – telling myself that “I’d be pleased when I heard it.” But to no avail.
Currently, I am back in the same state I was when I first developed this shibboleth: I start the sentence that’s going to have euphemism in it, and then, when I reach the part where I can’t recall the word, I say to whoever it is I’m speaking to, “What’s that strange word, that starts with a funny collection of letters, that’s something to do with a musical instrument?” It doesn’t make for engaging repartee, but the thing I regret about it most, is that it takes out of use a whole swathe of instant put downs for people who have imposed an unwanted conversation on you. They say something that veers towards the obnoxious / dangerously ignorant, and you cut them off by saying, “Are you saying that as a euphemism for something nice?” For example:
Them: “Did you hear about Trump’s abnormal swellings under his trousers?”
Me, as soon as I hear a reference to Trump: “Ooh, is that a euphonium?”
OTHER RECENT EXAMPLES OF EUPHONIUMS:
“I’ve started to go to the toilet in my trousers.”
Dickie White's Diary 