Now I find myself in a genuine predicament. I really cannot choose between suicide and arson.
9th April – Who will tie it up with a ribbon, And put it in a box for me?
Category: The Diary
April 5th – The concrete and the clay, beneath my feet begins to crumble.
Almost everything that everyone else says is not worth the air with which it is spoken, obviously.
29th March – Get sick, get well, Hang around a’ ink well
No sour grapes on my part when I say that the gatekeepers to literary stardom in this country would be incapable of judging who is the most cunning between Joey Essex and the Duchess of Sussex.
13th March – Help soldier celebrate his leave, Make every day like New Year’s Eve. Drinkin’ rum and Coca-Cola, Workin’ for the Yankee dollar.
There is a me in team. And there's only I in truth.
8th March – I polished up that handle so carefully, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy.
I’ll lose my audience if I give them much more of the poor me. -You don’t want to sound like Meghan Markle, do you? Look how nauseating all that is.
5th March – What goes up, must come down, Spinning wheel got to go round.
He was hard to dislike Savage, for the spare Yo-Yo bars he always carried with him.
28th Feb – You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart.
Over time, we may add more groundlings, so that the celebrity bottom feeder is forced to face an authentic slice of their real audience.
Feb 23rd – I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialise, I seem to lean on old familiar ways.
She’d been sat between us at dinner and had this sort of flaky skin, most of which stayed on the seat when she got up.
18th Feb – Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel.
In a world which celebrates marriage at first sight, and the televised sharing of STDs between teenagers, this sounds like Kenneth Clarke's Civilisation to me.
Feb 14th – Black and orange stray cat sittin’ on a fence, I ain’t got enough dough to pay the rent.
This is the great beauty of the law: it does not do a great deal for compensating the wrongs done to innocent victims, but it’s an absolute boon to each and every rotten egg for its manifold spoiling tactics.
