Only a few years ago if you failed in an attempt to kill yourself, you were prosecuted and sent to prison, now you’re given a cup of tea, and a leaflet to read.
21st May – Out of me box.
Author: dickiewhiteblog
19th May – Some glad morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away.
I’d go out to a Genesis track, or Led Zep, or something equally shite so that you had no regrets about leaving the earth and all its mediocrities. Then you’d just have to hope that you died before having to listen to it all the way through.
15th May – Penalties reversed.
So instead, they adapt their play to take away this risk, and they remove this cheat from their playbook. That’s what a deterrent looks like: utter terror of the consequences of being rumbled. Ask anyone who stole an orange and got sent to Australia for it.
11th May – The head of the herd was calling far far away. They met one night in the silver light, on the road to Mandalay.
The overall effect of all these moments with the new woman was to make you crave to be at home, whilst at the same time, dread the prospect of life’s quotidian transactions.
7th March – Varsity football is rank amateur.
It's like measuring the time of a 100m sprint to the hundredth of a second, having started it with a flag.
2nd May – We’d like to be unhappy, but we never do have the time.
Earlier, I endured a Proustian, bollocks-first, flight, onto a hard and sharp object. Now, suddenly, I experience a Eureka moment that is also Euphoric. I transcend the earthly to the numinous, accompanied by easy-listening, Euro-pop, played on a euphonium.
18th April – I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies, you heard the night before.
Before the internet was invented, melts like this gravitated towards teaching where they shovelled their bigoted mediocrity onto unwilling subjects like me. God knows what schools have descended to since, now that these sorts have migrated towards monetising their uselessness on YouTube.
29th March – How can you say, I go about things the wrong way?
He has a point, although, to be fair, I did mention this at the beginning, when I called Proust a ponce. I wonder if he thought I meant nonce, not ponce? Too late now. And this isn’t an argument about 1984; it’s about sun and air. And suffocation.
Mar 25th – Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time.
‘Have you ever considered that perhaps you used up your life’s ration of good luck within its first twenty-four hours?’
16th March – It’s so very lonely, you’re six hundred light years from home.
Oh God, it is one of those chats. Massive, hole-boring, criticism that will lay a time-bomb in my foundations, all dressed up as pep-talk.
Dickie White's Diary 