Of course, when I say irksome, I mean profoundly depressing and unpleasant; and when I say best avoided, I mean terrifying and boring in equal amounts.
16th December – Oh, what a wonderful thing to be, A healthy, grown-up, busy-busy bee.
Category: The Diary
27th Nov – I like pork, I like cheese, maybe I’m a little bit Portuguese.
Listening to that meretricious nonsense was utter torture. If only I had some knitting needles close by, I could have driven them into my ears.
9th Nov – The King is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether, he’s altogether as naked as the day that he was born.
All it’s really done though, is to have compromised their ability to understand how real people work, so that their attempts to engage with them now are executed with the heavy-handed caprice of a fairy tale king.
39th Oct – Short as a carrot.
I remember, he was wearing a casual suit with those carrot-leg trousers that are deliberately too small and stop on your ankles. They make men of a certain age look like a hard-boiled egg on a cocktail stick.
20th Oct – Heaven, heaven is a place where nothing, nothing ever matters.
could God make a bowl of porridge that is too large for Her to eat?
8th October – Red and yellow and pink and green, Purple and orange and blue.
... you know, like when you can’t round off a text exchange, or get flummoxed by an aggressive idiot in an unwanted conversation. Not so much esprit d'escalier, as esprit de rentré dans la maison et assis à la table de la cuisine.
October 1st – All that scratching’s making me itch.
Big Eggo was one of us, but he spoiled himself by too often behaving like the Germans on It’s a Knockout.
8th Sept – It’s only words and words are all I have, to take your heart away.
Bored, with no traction for either of us in our bad poetry competition, Keith and I have taken to setting each other crosswords. Have a go at mine below. The first correct answer received at the contact-me email (below? - somewhere nearabouts) will be sent a gift commensurate with one of the answers, whether they … Continue reading 8th Sept – It’s only words and words are all I have, to take your heart away.
Aug 19th (девятнадцатое августа) – Shoot me the pot and I’ll pour me a shot.
Not bad enough to be so bad it's good; not good enough to be bad.
Aug 12th – On me your voice falls as they say love should, like an enormous yes.
I've had a preview of his (he's in the revision stage now) and I was disheartened to see that he has latched on to the same awful trope of the bad poem as me - the pun. He has based his rhyme around craic and crack. I must say, it's promisingly bad.
Dickie White's Diary 