It’s time to split his portfolios up and give one to putative modern-day saint, Saint Greavsie of Television.
10th June – You wonder why he stands so high, It’s just the space between him and the sky.
I often watch replays of so-called fouls, and to me it's almost as if one leg behaves badly independently of the brain, while the other leg just stands there looking on unable to assist.
25th April – She is wearing rags and feathers, From Salvation Army counters.
I could only find one serious review, I tell her, and I read from that. The reviewer calls it ‘borderline imbecilic,’ with chapters on shopping, picnics, and T-shirts, which he says are delivered with a sense of shame.
8th March – I polished up that handle so carefully, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy.
I’ll lose my audience if I give them much more of the poor me. -You don’t want to sound like Meghan Markle, do you? Look how nauseating all that is.
5th March – What goes up, must come down, Spinning wheel got to go round.
He was hard to dislike Savage, for the spare Yo-Yo bars he always carried with him.
28th Feb – You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart.
Over time, we may add more groundlings, so that the celebrity bottom feeder is forced to face an authentic slice of their real audience.
Feb 23rd – I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialise, I seem to lean on old familiar ways.
She’d been sat between us at dinner and had this sort of flaky skin, most of which stayed on the seat when she got up.
18th Feb – Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel.
In a world which celebrates marriage at first sight, and the televised sharing of STDs between teenagers, this sounds like Kenneth Clarke's Civilisation to me.
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