Dec 3rd – Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool, Loving both of you is breaking all the rules.

It means that they have secured ownership of my adverts for £500 less than it cost me to have them made.

3rd September – Don’t know why, there’s no sun up in the sky.

‘It’s gone a bit tits?’ wonders Noel, and God tells him, ‘not really. It’s more like deciding to have a new hairstyle, and doing it from square one.’