‘You mean you don't know who you've abducted?' Abducted? - the unmeant haughtiness of the lonely and rejected.
14th June – Mr Sandman, I’m so alone, Don’t have nobody to call my own.
Author: dickiewhiteblog
5th June – Your clothes are all made by Balmain And there’s diamonds and pearls in your hair.
Perhaps there is an aspect of fatigue that is not sleep but where the body lacks the energy to sustain conscious thought? That thought alone is invigorating. Almost enough for me to raise myself to my feet.
29 May – Upside down boy, you turn me inside out and round and round.
Yet, true and dedicated advocates of Girl-Power, must always be alive to the charge of misogyny. The old ways are changing, but we must be careful not to assert entitlement over what is essentially female territory.
25 May – Heaven. Heaven is a place. Where nothing, nothing ever happens.
I try to will a moment of nothing. To be empty of every notion; to free-dive into the darkness, where now and forever are the same thing. I desire all this, yet dread it - like a dog condemned to spend its days in a cage, first sleeping to avoid the pain of thinking, then doing the opposite until only sleep can offer respite.
23 May – Sitting in an English garden; waiting for the sun.
Let's face it, we really don't like each other.
16 May – Sad, deserted shore, all your fickle friends are leaving.
Even if you went to Manty’s on your own you were subject to that same endless nothingness, while you just smiled at each other. She came from a different time when everyone was old fashioned no matter how old they were.
18 Apr – I know you know what you know, but you should know by now that you’re not me.
That essence of being human that allows your brain to wake before your body in case there’s a fire or a predator about – it can’t be switched off when there’s nothing doing and so goes looking for trouble.
27 Mar – Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free, the door is locked, just you and me.
I don't want to put too much strain on the apprentice tramp's slender budget, but if he can stretch to it, an invaluable addition to the essential kit must be a jar of Vick's Vapour Rub.
Mar 22 – Load up on guns, bring your friends.
I lived with the oily hessian smell of the sack under which I spent my days, but as soon as he came close, the moron's garlic and sweet, soapy aroma mixed in with his raw and noxious sweat overpowered everything else nearby. Feral. Mine was the dried in filth of complacency. His was the stink of deprivation.
20 Mar – Fly away on Coconut Airways, Fly me high, Barbados sky.
It is a recognised fault of mine, this – to obsess about one issue to the exclusion of all others. Add this to my other great weakness – that of getting every single 50-50 decision wrong, and it all goes to concoct a lethal brew.
Dickie White's Diary 