Category: The Diary
17th November – I can catch the moon in my hand, Don’t you know who I am?
Baby I'll be tough, too much is not enough.
10th October – Knock knock, who’s there? Could this be love that’s calling? The door is always open wide.
It’s an intellectual joke based on Italian grammar, and the fact that gnocci could be the plural of gnocc, or knock, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t get this part immediately.
October 6th – Some bright morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away.
Nobody has done more than me to bring down the career of falsely modest, secretly self-regarding, Richard-everyman-Osman than me. And see how I have succeeded? His second novel is officially the fastest selling work of literature ever. Ever. In the entire history of UK literature. Worse though, is the reaction of his fans, who have … Continue reading October 6th – Some bright morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away.
22nd September – I would go out tomorrow, if I could borrow, a coat to wear.
Anyway, with my new teeth, I have decided to take up courting again
16th September – In this life, one thing counts, in the bank, large amounts.
I don’t like to boast, but what better sign of wellbeing is there than a good portfolio of recently acquired underpants?
9th September – bully for you chilly for me.
Imagine we were still in the EU, and they had presided over the death of Geronimo?
6th Sept- Ask your mama for fifteen cents, To see the elephant jump the fence. It jumped so high, it touched the sky, Didn’t come back ’til the fourth of July.
By now a crowd had grown, and he, deploying the rhetoric favoured by my father said, ‘oh, so my opinion doesn’t count. I’m not allowed to have an opinion am I?’
29th Aug – Oh, yeah, And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
Stav Danaos was reading the weather today. Reading. Not telling. He’s a bit proprietorial about it all isn’t he? Perhaps he takes his job title, weather forecaster, a bit too liderally*. It doesn’t come from a magic well into which only he can see, you know. For my part I prefer the pagaillique* approach of the ITV-casters, with the exception, obviously, of that woman who rides the donkey as a route to fame – she who posits herself as a specialist forecaster of weather at horse racing venues. Her colleagues though, are good because the know that they’re common and act like the weather’s something that has just happened to them. Which, of course, it has. It may sound harsh to put it that way, but I’m allowed, I was once a trainee pig-iron trader.
August 4th – Gents ready-made suits, Shirts, socks, ties, hats, Underwear and shoes, Going up.
I know that he isn’t him. He (the real he) is Nurse Ratched.
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