ADVERTISING FEATURE

You know how MAGA Republicans have strong branding, and are easily identified, whereas all normal people just seem to melt away into the background, unnoticed?

Fake news. I don’t have that many teeth. The ones I have, just happen to big that’s all. They’re the best teeth, the biggest teeth. Nobody’s got teeth like this. They’re the greatest teeth on the internet. Everybody’s saying it.

Those red hats. And their guns! What do you call a person without a red hat? What do you call a person who walks along the street not carrying a gun? They’re just a person, right? And how do you recognise a three-digit IQ as it walks towards you? Sure, there’s the teeth. Democrats as a class, have far more teeth on average than their Trumpanzee equivalents. But look at Don Jr, he’s got dozens of teeth.

Well, here at Dickie White Enterprises, our scientists have changed all that with the CHOOSE U.S.A. NOT TRUMP cap.

We call it the mirror cap because if you wear one, the next time an aggressive uneducated fascist gets in your face, instead of having to say, “Go and pray for me, you Christian Nationalist imbecile,” now you just point your hat towards them, and they’ll know exactly what you’re thinking.

There’s a great range of colours: NAVY
And a great range of sizes: UNIVERSAL
And a great range of prices: £25, or $25. Or even €25, if you’re so minded.

If you want one, please send an email to info@eastword.co.uk. We’ll confirm the order and delivery details, then ask you to make a PayPal payment.

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