And only then do the scales finally fall from their eyes, as they are forced to acknowledge the likely provenance of the strange umami flavour of the apero-snacks that had been served with their introductory two-for-one Prosecco package on arrival.
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In a fit of particularly low self-esteem, we have reluctantly accepted a request to host a football forum. The idea is to present innovative, perceptive and contrarian insights, in the most ridiculous and/or angry and unreasonable way possible, so that readers will find it difficult to take on board the actual ideas, however good they … Continue reading About this section
May 28th – no.4: a la recherche du temps perdu.
Its pin-striped, bowler-hatted, serious looking men, constantly exchanging chits of paper with each other to no ultimate purpose, evokes Dickens' circumlocution office.
25th May – Луч солнца, побеждает холодную терпкую тьму.
I became the only man in history to be sacked from the position of hostage. It’s hard to extract the positivity from that. The joy of uncommon individuality rarely endures.
21st May – Out of me box.
Only a few years ago if you failed in an attempt to kill yourself, you were prosecuted and sent to prison, now you’re given a cup of tea, and a leaflet to read.
19th May – Some glad morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away.
I’d go out to a Genesis track, or Led Zep, or something equally shite so that you had no regrets about leaving the earth and all its mediocrities. Then you’d just have to hope that you died before having to listen to it all the way through.
15th May – Penalties reversed.
So instead, they adapt their play to take away this risk, and they remove this cheat from their playbook. That’s what a deterrent looks like: utter terror of the consequences of being rumbled. Ask anyone who stole an orange and got sent to Australia for it.
11th May – The head of the herd was calling far far away. They met one night in the silver light, on the road to Mandalay.
The overall effect of all these moments with the new woman was to make you crave to be at home, whilst at the same time, dread the prospect of life’s quotidian transactions.
7th March – Varsity football is rank amateur.
It's like measuring the time of a 100m sprint to the hundredth of a second, having started it with a flag.
2nd May – We’d like to be unhappy, but we never do have the time.
Earlier, I endured a Proustian, bollocks-first, flight, onto a hard and sharp object. Now, suddenly, I experience a Eureka moment that is also Euphoric. I transcend the earthly to the numinous, accompanied by easy-listening, Euro-pop, played on a euphonium.
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